slowly slide back through the field the rest of the day. On Lap 7, we got to see Jr. pass Reid Sorenson and also Mr. Happy was stretching his lead over Labonte while they were pulling away from the rest of the field. Since we had seen some cars racing, it was time to resume the normal commercial programming. The Allstate Cougars are busy chasing Kasey while the rest of the guys are having problems with sludge in their Viagra.
When they rudely interrupted the commercials on Lap 16, we were treated to the roof cam of Hamlin’s car showing us the back of Kenseth‘s car. It seems the more we get into the TNT season, the more they show their true colors and resort to more gimmick shots. Mr. Happy was 1.5 seconds ahead of Labonte. By Lap 18, Stewart had moved up to 20th and Robby Gordon had moved up to 23rd.On the next lap, we got to see Truex Jr. and Sorenson pass Scott Riggs. Two laps later, Truex Jr. passed Sorenson. On Lap 22, we got to hear DW’s parrot squawking about Truex Jr.’s car and how bad it was when they unloaded it. Then the next lap, we got to see Jr. pass Bobby Labonte for 2nd . I could hear some moans coming from Owensboro over that pass. Then it was time once again to resume those always popular commercials. Well, popular with the networks anyways.
When the commercials were interrupted, we were treated to Webhead blabbering on about the biggest movers (obviously not his bowels) and we got a graphic about the Roush cars. I’m not sure what it is about Webhead and the Fords but pay close attention this coming weekend and how he talks about them. He seems to have a dislike for them and you can tell it in the way he talks about them and the tone of his voice. By Lap 37, Mr. Happy was starting to lap slower cars. And since we got to see it, it was time to resume the commercials again. When they interrupted the commercials on Lap 43, Jr. was catching Mr. Happy. Two laps later, Jr. got by Mr. Happy and took the lead. Once again, I could hear a moan coming from Owensboro and somebody asking for a cigarette and clean sheets. Jr. had some problems trying to get around Johnny Sauter who was fighting to keep from getting lapped but he finally got around Sauter on Lap 47. We got to see Kahne get by Wallbangdinger on Lap 48, Jeff Gordon got by Franchitti on Lap 49, and Truex Jr. had moved up to 4th place. Since we got to see some passes, it was time yet again for more of those “lovely” commercials.
They decided to interrupt the commercials on Lap 55. No changes for the lead happened while they were away. The race ticker showed Jr. still leading, Mr. Happy in 2nd, and Labonte in 3rd. On Lap 59, we were treated to the Jimmy Johnson Love Fest. Webhead wasn’t shaking his pompoms like the Fox crew, but by golly you could tell his pants were approaching critical mass. I knew I was expecting too much of Webhead to be impartial. Then we got a Biggest Movers graphic and it was time to go back to commercials. When the commercials were interrupted, cars were making green flag pit stops. This race was going way too fast. We got to see Mr. Happy back in the lead with Kahne in 2nd and it was time again to resume the commercial programming. When they broke into the commercials for a race, Wally was talking about adjusting the brakes to balance the car. Then they went to the cut-away car for DW’s parrot to show the knob which is used to adjust the brakes and a plug for the Bill Engvall Show. I knew it was too good to be true, but on Lap 86, Franchitti got spun by The Beak bringing out the 1st Caution. Front Row Joe got the Lucky Dog while the Lucky Dork was in the announcing booth. 32 cars were on the lead lap and we had a number of cars taking 2 tires on their pit stops. So since we got to see some excitement with the spin, it was time to go back to another plethora of commercials.
When the returned on Lap 90, Stewart was in 4th. On Lap 94, Jr. was loose and we got to see cars going 2-3 wide through the turns. Then it tapered off to 2 wide further back in the pack. Then we got a Hendrick Love Fest with both Jimmie and Jeffy having to share the attentions of the Commentating Clowns. We got a full 6 laps of the Hendrick Love Fest when we were informed that Kahne was in 11th. Lap 101 saw Vickers and Mr. Happy racing for 2nd and 3rd. On the next lap, Mr. Happy got by Vickers for 2nd. Then we got to see the Japanese Manufacturer’s update which didn’t show any of the Motormouth Motorsports cars. So since there was a call for Viagra from the announcing booth, it was time once again to enjoy more commercials. While they were at commercial, a race broke out on Lap 109 and they decided to show some of it. We got a poll graphic and then went into a Toyotathon through Lap 115 with Tony, Vickers, and Shrub’s roof cam. On Lap 111, we got to see Cousin Carl back in 25th and the joy in Webhead’s voice at Cousin Carl’s poor position couldn’t be hidden. So they cut back to Tony and then went to commercial.
As they decided to interrupt the commercials on Lap 121, we got force fed yet another one with Track Pass. If you haven’t figure it out by now folks, Race Buddy is a way to get you to subscribe to Track Pass so you can hear the audio on Race Buddy. Lap 122 led us into a 6 lap Hendrick Love Fest with Casey Mears being the point of Webhead’s affection and attention. This also lead into some speculation on Silly Season moves. Neither Wally nor Kyle were willing to guess on where Mears or Stewart were going. The implication being that Tony would take over Mears’ ride in the 5 car. Lap 127 had us being entertained with a Hendrick Motorsports graphic. The we were treated to a split screen with DW’s parrot squawking about Bowyer and his tire. Then DW’s parrot tried to play being David Copperfield by pulling a rabbit out of his hat. And not even a real rabbit at that. He could probably pull a gerbil out of somewhere else, but not on TV. Lap 130 saw Mears lapping Sadler and then since we we’d been “delighted” with a magic act. TNT did one of their own by making the race disappear and replacing it with commercials.
Since they don’t bother keeping the lap counter up as often as they should, they interrupted the commercials to find out the race was under caution for something. We got to see Tony’s pit stop and then go back to commercial programming. When they came back, we got to watch the restart with 31 cars on the lead lap. Starting on Lap 146, we got another Hendrick Love Fest with Jeffy being the center of attention this time. You could hear it in Webhead’s voice but there were no cartwheels or handstands in the booth. I guess the earlier call for Viagra would’ve made it embarrassing. On Lap 150, we got to see a replay of Shrubs pit stop which showed him driving over the hose for the air gun. In the past, that has been a clearly enforced penalty. But as it’s Shrub and another of the Daytona Dictates which must be shown in a favorable light, no penalty was assessed. Webhead said it was at the discretion of NA$CAR to enforce it. Kyle Petty explained where the penalty originated from with the hoses and the position of the nitrogen tanks which are used to add “air” to the tires. Nitrogen replaced regular air many years ago folks. It’s more stable and doesn’t have any moisture/water which could cause a mechanical steam explosion if the tires got too hot.
Lap 152 saw Front Row Joe spin for Caution #3. Aric Almirola got the Lucky Dog with 31 cars on the lead lap and since we got to see the excitement of Joe’s spin after the fact, it was time for yet again another slew of commercials. When the commercials were interrupted, it was to the sounds of “Bored To Be Wild“, the remake of a much better original song, but it definitely fits the Uni-Car and all the races they’ve run with it. We got the usual 1-2 car shots until JPM hit Sorenson and we heard a few remarks from the booth that there will be some talks to the drivers on Monday. I doubt it Webhead. We went into Hendrick cheerleading mode again On Lap 165 and continued on until commercial. When the commercials were interrupted, they went into Toyota cheerleading mode til Lap 181 when they ran the Top 5 graphic and showed Mr. Happy and Bowyer then returned to the Toyotathon with Hamlin’s brakes still smoking.
After they interrupted the commercials again, Stewart had a 2 second lead. We got to see Ragan and Cousin Carl racing for a bit and then the Booth Buffoon concentrated on Ragan for about 3 laps talking about how he’d improved and a baseball story about the 6 being a jinxed number. Then it was time for Jr. again as we saw Hamlin pass him and then Burton passing him on the next lap. And since we’d seen a little bit of racing, it was time again for even more commercials. We didn’t have to wait long for some excitement. When the commercials were interrupted, we were at Caution #4. Wallbangdinger’s engine blew up. You can bet his teammate was starting to be worried. We got interrupted here by the National Weather Service and returned in time to see a few pit stops and then back to commercial programming. As they bothered to interrupt the commercials once again, we got to hear the dork do the duck. Biffle got nailed on pit road for being too fast. When they restarted, the Double Nothing blew up. Surprisingly, no caution was called. You’d have thought that would’ve brought out another caution so the track could be cleaned up and TNT could get in more commercials for their fall line-up. Lap 216 saw Almirola sliding in the corner, but he did a good job of saving it. The next lap, Kahne got into Almirola in the corner and it took a while before Almirola hit the wall, but when he did, we had another caution. So, since we had some excitement, it was back to another gaggle of commercials.
When they came back, Stewart was in 1st, Jeffy in 2nd, and Johnson in 3rd. The 38 & 01 were battling for the Lucky Dog spot holding up Mr. Happy. Then we were told there was rain 30 minutes out. Kahne spun on Lap 224 but there was no caution. They were hoping to get the race in before the rain came. Driver safety be damned. Then they went into the Hendrick Love Fest once again. Since we got to see an exciting spin, it was time to resume the commercials.
On Lap 240, they came back from commercials and we found out that Webhead still cannot pronounce Lotrimin. Lap 246 saw the Keebler Elves fighting for 18th & 19th. The next lap we saw smoke coming from Keebler Sr. as his smoked his tires when he braked. Since we had met another Daytona Dictate during these few laps of racing, it was time to go to commercials again. After being away from the race for 10 laps, they decided to treat us fans to a few more laps of racing. Johnson had caught Tony in traffic and they kept going back and forth between roof cams and bumper cams showing us both cars. The we got a Roush graphic which showed where they were and you could hear the glee in Webhead’s voice since they weren’t in the Top 10. Lap 263, Robby Gordon pulled over to let the leaders pass him, unlike some other drivers who kept holding the leaders up. Then we returned to another pod of commercials on Lap 264.
Nine laps later, the commercials were interrupted by DW’s parrot carrying on about fuel mileage and cheerleading for Keebler Jr. Lap 271 saw yet another caution. Jr. was heading into the pits and was rear ended by McMurray. Ragan got caught up in it and his day was pretty much over. Jr. apparently decided to pit at the last minute and McMurray didn’t see him. So it was time for some more commercials and when they came back, it was just in time to see some pit stops. Several cars stayed out and the leaders who pitted started back around 14th. We got to hear Webhead, Wally, and DW’s parrot second guessing the call by Tony’s crew. When they restarted, Robby Gordon was racing Keebler Sr. pretty hard to stay ahead of him. And it paid off. Hornish and Bowyer got together bringing out yet another caution on Lap 280. Then we had Montoya, our Diversity Program Poster Boy, getting into Keebler Jr. spinning them both out. In a post race interview, Montoya admitted it was intentional. NA$CAR penalized him 2 laps for it. So, since we got to see some bumping and banging, it was time to resume the commercials.
When the commercials were interrupted, the race had been red flagged on Lap 284. We got to see a replay showing parts falling off of Keebler Sr.’s car from the rear brakes. Since they were red flagged, the pit reporters got out and were interviewing the drivers. Keebler Sr. said he’d won the race even though no decision had been made to call it a
day. Then we got a monologue from a reporter
who was supposed to be interviewing Tony
about the luck Tony hasn’t had this year. When
they interrupted the commercials, Keebler Sr.
had been declared the winner of the rain
shortened race. The Sprint Girl, who serves no
other purpose than to stand there like a deer
caught in the headlights, kept getting into frame
during the post race interview. The co-owner of
Motormouth Motorsports got his first Top 10
finish in 3 years but it won’t save him from his
sponsors leaving. JJ Yeley came in 3rd, which
had to be his best finish ever in Cup. Bobby
Labonte got yet another Top 10 finish. During a
post race interview, Montoya admitted he
intentionally hit Keebler Jr. When Keebler Jr. was interviewed, he said he didn’t know what Montoya’s problem was. It’s never Keebler Jr.’s fault. Even when it is. It's called displacement folks.
Next week, it’s off to Daytona and another plate race. Don’t be surprised if you see a lot of empty seats. Remember Your Majesty, if you can’t sell out, you must lose a race date. Your rules, remember?
Another story you won’t hear about in the mainstream media about Iraq. Eight Iraqi medics from 33rd Brigade, 8th Iraqi Army Division, and surgeons and medics from the 3rd Infantry Division’s 3rd Battalion, 7th Infantry Regiment, 4th Brigade Combat Team, provided some much needed medical care for residents of Farisiyah and Jurf as Sahkr. They treated more than 200 adults and over 80 children. Plus they distributed over 500 humanitarian aid packages. Taking care of the infirm and the innocent while still being soldiers just goes to show what kind of stuff we Americans are made of. Way to go folks.
Motherhood, Apple Pie, and John Wayne
Mad Mikie
Curmudgeon at Large
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