seats all around the track. The blimp shots during the race would show lots of empty seats as well as the shots along pit road. Since there were going to be tire problems, we were told that there would be a Competition Caution on Lap 10. Once the green flag was dropped, we were informed the next Competition Caution would be between laps 20-22. But we wouldn’t have to wait that long.
Johnson shot out to the lead and the cars went into Turn 1 single file then fanned out coming out of the Turn 2. One of the things mentioned from the booth was the fact that there was no mandatory tire testing; sounds like somebody was trying to cover their backsides early on. We didn’t make it to the first Competition Caution because on Lap 4, the co-owner of Motormouth Motorsports lost it in the turn and got hit by the 15 car. During the replays, Andy Petree said ‘It looks like he lost some air there”. Wasn’t the Uni-Car supposed to eliminate the aero problems that the template racer had? One of the other problems we heard about was brought about on a radio transmission between Cousin Carl and his spotter. DJ said that the wing on the back of the car caused a loss of vision through the back window. Gee, I thought the Uni-car was supposed to be safer based on all the PR releases and the constant “praise” from Faux King Brian. Thanks to this accident, the Competition Caution was moved to Lap 14. 14 cars pitted during the first real caution and a lot of it was being blamed on the track’s very abrasive surface. By the time they cleaned everything up; they restarted on Lap 10 with Johnson still leading.
We got a short clip of Cousin Carl talking about the tires and he said that as long as the tires are the same for everyone, that’s fine. Are you saying not everyone gets the same tires Carl? On Lap 14, which was supposed to be the lap for the first Competition Caution, The elder Busch lost it and collected Mr. Happy. Once this happened, the Booth Bozos went into full blown Chase mode talking about the impact on the Chase, how Mr. Happy would or wouldn’t fit into it, and yada yada yada. Everyone except Jr. and Leftturn stayed out. Then it was off to commercials. When they came back, they plugged the race at Pocono next week. We also got to hear Knaus talking about the “cording” on the right rear tire.
When they restarted on Lap 18, Jeffy Boy went low and got around Jimmie on the inside. Andy Petree said this was a downforce track. Wasn’t the Uni-Car supposed to eliminate the need for downforce because of its wing? On Lap 19, we got to see just how critical the new tires were as Leftturn was advancing to the rear. We were informed that the Next Competition Caution would be at Lap 32. We got to see Kahne and Newman going at it on Lap 20 and then Mark Martin and Cousin Carl. Then it was off to the blimp which showed lots of empty seats. The next lap, we saw Cousin Carl get by Mark Martin and Newman get by Kahne. Then we got to see Cousin Carl pass Kahne on the next lap and heard an in-car audio about a possible cracked header on Kahne’s car. Then off to the cut-away car and an explanation from Tim Brewer on the possible locations of the crack and possible scenarios affecting the spark plug wires. Lap 23 still had Jr. leading and Crusty was very happy with the 88 car. We could see Jr. stretch his lead a bit and then Jeffy Boy catch up to him a bit in the turns. Then it was back to commercials.
When they broke back into racing, somebody forgot the microphone was on as we heard “Wow, the left front”. While they were busy showing us the commercials, Jr. had lost the lead and according to the Booth Bozos, the left side tires were going down. Then he had a bad vibration and it was the right rear tire going down. Jr. hit the pits on Lap 27. That left Jeffy Boy with the lead and we got a split screen of the 24 and 88. Lap 32 was supposed to be the Lap for the Competition Caution, so you had to wonder why Mark Martin was pitting on Lap 29. It was a strategy move to get the lead when everyone else pitted. Then we got to see an interview with Busch the elder and his apology for collecting Mr. Happy. No sooner did that conclude than JPM had a tire blow out for real Caution #2. Then it was back to commercials.
When they interrupted the commercials, on Lap 32, we were “treated” to a Chase graphic. Bestwick said “As they run at the moment”. If they’re doing this 32 laps into this race, God help us over the next 6 races before we get to the Chase for the Chumps. DJ was talking to Tony Stewart on the radio and Tony didn’t seem to be too happy with the way things were going with the handling and the tires. Then Andy Petree talked to Zippy the Crew Chief and Zippy wasn’t happy with the tire wear although it was better than what some other teams were having. We got to see the right rear tire off of Jeffy’s car and you could see the cords. If the tires were wearing down to the core after only 10 laps, this was going to make for a very long race. Then it was back to commercials on Lap 34.
When they interrupted the commercials, Shrub had the lead off of pit road. The restarted on Lap 35 and as usual for the Uni-Car leader, he pulled away from the rest of the pack. On Lap 36, we got an in-car from Jeffy and then went back to see him passing Shrub then Jimmie passing Shrub. On Lap 37, Newman had a tire problem. Lap 38 had Jimmie passing Jeffy and it was announced that the next competition caution would be at Lap 47. Then we got to see a bumper cam shot of Jr.’s car from Jeffy’s. When you looked back through the field, you could see it was single file racing except when somebody passed. On Lap 40, we got the Denny Hamlin Show, then Lap 41 was the Matt Kenseth Mini-Marathon until they cut back to Shrub passing Jeffy and then it was time to go back to commercial programming.
When the rudely interrupted the commercials on Lap 45, we were treated to an audio and split screen of Jimmie Johnson. Then they talked about Bowyer while they continued to show Johnson’s car; got to meet Faux King Brian’s Mandatory Coverage Policy requirements. On the next Lap, Mark Martin pitted as he was having some right side tire issues and also got some fuel. Lap 47 saw Cousin Carl having tire problems. Then Kenseth’s right rear blew out causing him to spin and shredding the right rear fender and brought out Real Caution #3. Kenseth went to the garage for repairs and we were informed the 31 was having some battery problems. When they came off of pit road, it was Shrub leading, Wallbangdinger in 2nd, and Burton in 3rd. We got to see an ad for Watkins Glen. When the commercials were interrupted, we got to see the debris on the track and got to see the 48 crew. We were informed that NA$CAR was extending the Competition Cautions and would probably cut back to 8 lap segments. Didn’t fans pay to see a 400 mile race and not a series of heat races? Petree and DJ both started offering up excuses for Badyear. If anyone is to blame for the tire problems, it’s both NA$CAR and Badyear. NA$CAR and Badyear both forgot about the fiasco at Charlotte and the levigation and how it tears tires up. Then it was back to more commercials.
When they returned, Robin Pemberton was shown going up and down pit road talking to a couple of crew chiefs. Then they restarted on Lap 56 and it was time for the Jeffy Show through Lap 56. Gotta show those Hendrick cars per the Daytona Dictates. Busch the elder and Mr. Happy both returned to the track. Lap 56 and 57 were the Toyota Show starring Shrub and Wallbangdinger. Then the announcement came that the next Competition Caution would be on Lap 64. Lap 58 showed Cousin Carl passing Truex Jr. and then it was back to commercials. After all, we did get to see a pass.
This whole thing was going to be monotonous. 10 laps, then Competition Caution. During Competition Caution #5, Mafia Mike was in the announcing booth making excuses for the poor tire performance saying they wanted to keep it as safe as they can. Then mentioned they had sent tires for the Pocono race to Indy because of the tire wear and that the Pocono tires were softer than the Indy tires and that the Bristol tires were the same was the Pocono tires. He made sure to say it wasn’t NA$CAR’s fault that the tires were coming apart.
The only thing that changed during the rest of the race, besides the lead, was NA$CAR would close pit road a couple laps ahead of the Competition Caution so nobody could use any sort of pit strategy to gain an advantage. There was also no rhyme or reason as to when the Competition Caution was called. One time, the leader crossed the start finish line and it was called. Another time, the leader was on the back straight. Another time, he was in a turn. There was no consistency on when it was called other than about every 10 laps. Lap 98 was yet another Competition Caution, but it was suddenly deemed a Quickie Caution out of the blue. Bobby Labonte had pitted because he had a tire going down and even though he should’ve been sent to the end of the longest line because he pitted when pit road was closed, he instead was nailed for speeding on pit road.
They restarted on Lap 105. Each team had 4 sets of tires left, which may or may not have been enough. But they said that all teams would use the same tires, whether or not it was the Indy tires or Pocono tires. Then Brian Vickers car blew up. He stopped on the track on the high side and was praised by the Booth Bozos for doing so because he didn’t spread oil on the track. We got to see a replay from Mr. Happy’s roof cam and you could see the oil covering it. After the pit stops, Jeff Burton had the lead. Of course, to make it “official” that it wasn’t Badyear’s fault, they interviewed Richard Childress and Rick Hendrick who said that it wasn’t Badyear’s fault. Lap 107 got us another Chase for the Chumps graphic.
On Lap 122, NA$CAR released an extra set of
right side tires to the teams. Even though they
had run 122 laps, the tires were still showing
cord which means no rubber was being laid
down. After the came back from commercial
programming, Andy Petree said that crew
fatigue could become an issue with all the pit
stops they had to do because of the Competition
Cautions. Then we got a trip to the cut-away car
and an explanation about the tires and the
teams having to use a double-sided adhesive
piece rather than the glue they normally use.
Lap 131 showed a chunk of debris on the track
but no caution for it. 4 Competition Cautions
later, we got to the final heat race with 36 cars on the lead lap. The cars were running single file around the track from the last restart, which had been very slow and near the start-finish line. When it got down to it, Jimmie Johnson was able to keep his distance from Cousin Carl and got the win. Elliott Sadler got his best finish of the season with 4th place, AJ Wallbangdinger got his 1st Top 10 finish ever, Bobby Labonte, despite the penalty finished 16th, and the Tasmanian Devil finished 22nd.
As bad as this "race" was, I think NA$CAR and Badyear need to be refunding the fans their ticket and gas money. This wasn't a race, it was a farce. Badyear and NA$CAR should've insisted on more testing. The track surface hasn't changed in 5 years according to IMS, so if the track hasn't changed and it's not the problem, you know full well who is. Faux King Brian and his Brand Sense client.
Next week, it’s off to Pocono. And something to think about after the recent announcement about Brett Favre. Is Brett the Mark Martin of the NFL with his retiring?
And here’s to the Big Red One for their longstanding tradition of duty, service, and sacrifice for our country.
Motherhood, Apple Pie, and John Wayne
Mad Mikie
Curmudgeon at Large
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