over that comment. Of course, since Mafia Mike hasn’t been seen at the track much lately, at least not physically, odds are it was up to Jim Hunter or John Darby to administer the punishment. I wonder if they use an old fashioned chalk board or a dry marker board for drivers to write 10,000 times “I will not say bad things about NA$CAR officials”? I wonder if he had to write it in English or Spanish?
Of course, as usual, I read the normal comments from the Kool Aid drinkers. “Nope, no conspiracy here. NA$CAR is always consistent with their rules.” I keep seeing the image of 5 cars going down pit road with Crusty in the middle of them and they’re all moving at the same speed at yet Crusty gets the speeding penalty. It’s OK for some drivers to go below the yellow line but not others even if it’s to avoid an accident, it’s OK for some drivers to use illegal carburetor gaskets at Daytona but not OK for others, it’s OK for some drivers to run illegal rear ends in their cars but not for others, it’s OK for some drivers to drive roughly but not OK for others, it’s OK for some drivers to bump draft but not for some others, and we won’t even address the Ms Terry DeBris cautions. But then I forget. This is, after all, racer-tainment. So where are Hulk Hogan and Randy “Macho Man” Savage hiding in the garage area? Maybe they’re in Race Control controlling the race? I can just hear Hogan saying, “You know brother, this race is getting way too boring. Montoya took way too many of those vitamins and did too many push-ups and he’s leading every lap. So it’s time to lay the smack down on him brother”. To which Macho Man would reply, “Snap into a Palm Tree, I mean Slim Jim. Oh yeah!”.
Maybe some of those Macho Man sun glasses might help out Shrubbery on race day? Hmmm. They'd be an improvement over those alien bug eye looking things he wears now.
Then there was the official statement that the read-outs for the speeding penalties are in the same booth as the Booth Buffoons. So, how come IBPN didn’t send a camera man over there with a hand-held camera and shoot the screen so we fans at home could see it and it would remove all doubts? D-oh! That makes sense and we can’t have sense in NA$CAR. And still no print-outs have been produced. Did you really think they’d produce print-outs to put to rest any doubts that something isn’t right in Race Control, the White Elephant, and the Ivory Towers?
Mayfield is suing NA$CAR, the evil step-mother is suing Mayfield, NA$CAR is suing Mayfield, and a court date is finally set for the original lawsuit by Mayfield against NA$CAR. This has got the makings of the lyrics for a hoe down somewhere.
Grab your pee cup and be real ’fraid, it’s the NA$CAR Lawsuit promenade.
Here we go around and round, NA$CAR media runs you in the ground.
Climb out of the hole but don’t unbend cause here comes a lawsuit once again.
They sue you and you sue them, NA$CAR media adds some spin.
Bow to the plaintiff, bow to the judge, then file an appeal cause he won’t budge
Yeeeee Hawww!
I can just see Faux King Brian stepping on his robe, loosing his crown, turning a great square dance into a Charlie Chaplin routine with him chasing after his crown and continuing to kick it around and then the folks dancing kicking it around too. Of course, we could still get to see that in court come September of next year. Somehow, I get a feeling His Royal Highness, his henchmen, and NA$CAR aren’t going to come out of this unscathed. We may even get to see some other cases being filed as a result of this one lawsuit and some serious outside agency looks into NA$CAR that Faux King Brian‘s bought and paid for politicians can’t stop. Call it a gut feeling.
The lamestream media seems to be wetting themselves over the announcement of the Mustang being run in the Busch Series. It’s just the Busch Series version of the Kit Car with decals on it that say Mustang. It doesn’t have the fastback roof line. It doesn’t have the distinctive grill and headlights. The body lines aren’t even close to a Mustang. Obviously the idea of real sheet metal on these things fell on alcohol impaired hearing and vision once again. So I guess the best way to describe them is Phony Ponies.
Apparently, an under-the-radar race track is being built in Truth or Consequences New Mexico. They seem to have some big hopes and aspirations of luring Faux King Brian’s band of misfits and the race teams there. All I can say is good luck and best wishes.
ARTICLE LINKS:
And for all you Ward Burton fans, he’s alive and well and very much involved with his son’s racing career and his conservation efforts. I checked up on Ward through a mutual friend who had just seen Ward this week and even though he’s not racing, he’s staying busy and enjoying life. You can’t ask for much more than that although I wouldn’t mind seeing Ward back on the track.
One of the things the Green Meanies have been going on about is bio diesel. One of the main sources of bio diesel comes from palm oil from Malaysia and Indonesia. In order to get the palm oil, they destroy the jungle habitat which kills off indigenous life forms, they plant the palm trees they need for the palm oil, and cause other forms of animal life to migrate into other areas which may or may not support their lifestyle. And yet, no objections from the Green Meanies about this. Aren’t they supposed to be saving the planet and all its’ life forms? The same folks who want you in the Eco-trash two seaters that won’t survive a head-on collision are helping to destroy the planet they say they’re trying to save. What irony.
And speaking of saving our environment, it looks
like import car companies that sell less than
400,000 cars a year here in the USA (mainly
Mercedes and BMW) will get a special
exemption so that they don’t have to meet our
emission standards. Gee, thanks Uncle Barry.
Your change is working out really well for the
environment and the automotive industry here in
the USA. By the way Uncle Barry, care for some
bio diesel made from palm oil? A tip of the hat to
Autoextremist.
And since the track in Truth or Consequences
won’t be that far away, a big thanks to all the fine
folks out there at White Sands Missile Range who are doing a great job in making sure our missiles systems work great and deliver their payloads on target.
Motherhood, Apple Pie, and John Wayne
Mad Mikie, Curmudgeon at Large
Gotta comment, question or want to say hey there...email Mike here
Want to chat with other race fans about this article and other NASCAR stuff?
Go visit our home page, called appropriately The Pits & check out our photos & pages. Our most popular page; Race Recon is where you get all the info you need to go to the races including local camping, hotels, bars, restaurants, tracks, golf & other important race weekend information. We also have attending a NASCAR Race tips, tailgating tips & recipes, stories, trivia, quotes & more! While you are surfing see if you are a REAL RACE FAN. Be sure to read the Fan Fables, LAIDBACK RACING’S adventures with the tailgating race fan at NASCAR tracks.
