Royal Highness will not admit that this “one size fits all” abomination on wheels is one of the biggest mistakes NA$CAR has made (besides putting him on the throne). To paraphrase a line from “Top Gun”, “Your Highness’ ego is writing checks that the sport can’t take any more”. Changing race dates, shutting down tracks, the Chase for the Chumps, the behind the scenes race manipulation and the Kit Car have all made what was once a great sport into sports entertainment and changed it from being about racing into being about marketing. But then, what do you expect from a guy who came out of marketing to begin with. As much as I’m glad Jr. came out and said something about it, it’s all for nothing. Unless the manufacturers and sponsors start backing the drivers up and pressing their demands for a return to being a sport and something that actually resembles the cars on the streets, we’re stuck with this sows ear that’s being served up as a silk purse weekend after weekend. I think somebody in the Ivory Towers is long overdue for a urinalysis test since he meets his own requirements for drug testing. I wonder how many times Jr. will have to write on the chalkboard inside the White Elephant, “I will not say bad things about the Camry of Today”?
Is NA$CAR’s case against Mayfield starting to unravel before it even begins? It could be. It seems that one of their star witnesses is screwing up by the numbers. First, Lisa Mayfield, the evil step-mom, puts a false address on her court papers. Then she gets a speeding ticket from the cops. And on Saturday night, she shows up at Jeremy Mayfield’s house under the influence of something and starts screaming and banging on the door to which Mayfield called the cops and has her taken away for trespassing. I can see the makings of a potential future ex Mrs. Faux King Brian here folks. Maybe the two of them can go hunting palm trees together in the Palm Tree Assault Vehicle after they spill “sodas” all over themselves at the Chart House?
Going back through the sport’s history, folks have probably heard about Curtis Turner’s first attempt at forming a drivers’ union and him being blackballed for it by Bill Sr. Then there was a second attempt at a drivers’ union with The King heading it up and that one fell apart thanks to some intimidation from Bill Sr. Could the scare of a 3rd attempt be the reason why NA$CAR has come down so hard on Jeremy Mayfield regarding their lawsuit? According to a very good source, one of the sponsors who was willing to back Mayfield after he got his injunction was none other than a very powerful labor union. Bill Sr. threatened to shut down NA$CAR if unions ever got involved. And unions were part of the reason why the Staten Island track failed. Could a little paranoia, a séance by Faux King Brian with his departed grandfather, and fear of the unions and the formation of a drivers’ union be behind why NA$CAR is trying to railroad Mayfield? Something to think about.
On Wind Tunnel the other week, Jeff Gordon says he doesn’t expect to retire early because of his back. All I can say to that is good luck Jeff. Once you start having back problems, they don’t get any better and they don’t go away. The best you can hope for is that it stays the same. Take it from somebody who’s got back problems.
Based on what David Newton wrote in his article What do the manufacturers think? if you read between the lines, the manufacturers aren’t happy with the Kit Car and are hoping to eventually get some corporate identity back into the body design. The only way that’s going to happen is if somebody other than the Emperor of All Things NA$CAR is running things. And his days may be running out sooner than he thinks. With the ledgers bleeding red ink the way they are and with future projections not looking that great either, it’s a good possibility that the rumors a while back about him being replaced may come to fruition. And that’s providing he isn’t forced to step down first from some outside interference. The idea of a common engine builder for each of the manufacturers doesn’t sound that bad. In the old days, that’s pretty much what it was. If you ran a Ford, you got a Ford engine. There were no Roush-Yates outfits back then. This would save the teams a lot of money on the one hand by them not having to have all the computer software, milling equipment, etc needed to design and build today’s engines. And when you look at all the engines out there, you’ve got Ernie Elliott, Roush-Yates, Childress-Earnhardt, Hendrick, TRD, Arrington, and a couple of others. The down side is that a lot of engine builders and designers would be out of work. Not exactly what you need in the current economy. But that would be down the road. One of the more interesting statements was to get away from using carbs and moving into using fuel injection. Of course, we’ve all heard the same excuse from NA$CAR time and again about people being able to cheat with fuel injection and it’s harder to police. Teams have been cheating or working the gray area since the beginning of the sport whether they were running extra carbs under the flathead Ford manifolds, using engine blocks imported from outside the US, using oversized fuel lines, using aluminum bumpers, or using traction control. It just means NA$CAR is going to have to go out and hire some folks who know what they’re doing and know what they’re looking for which means they‘re going to have to lay out some long green to get the right people and we know NA$CAR will hate having to do that. It means the inspection process is going to take a little longer too. But then, since they got away from having templates from each make of car, they’ve gotten a little lazy. Time to get back on your toes boys and girls. Hopefully the manufacturers can get these changes made before it‘s too late.
One article I was reading was giving high praises for the Phony Ponies saying that it was a mistake that Chevy wasn’t running their Camaro and that the Mustang of Ford looked like the street version. I think that writer needs to get some new glasses. The Phony Pony Mustang looks nothing like the street version. The decals on Kit Car II don’t even look right. And the body lines definitely aren’t those of the street version. If you want to see what the real pony cars look like that were raced in NASCAR, check out the images for some of the cars that Tiny Lund or Bobby Allison ran in the past. Tiny ran Camaros and Cougars in the Gran Am division. Bobby ran some Mustangs and got a win that NA$CAR still doesn’t recognize to this day. Those cars looked like the street versions because they were built on the street versions with the safety equipment added to them. As I suggested before, they should’ve used the sheet metal from the street versions to at least give the cars that same appearance as the street versions. That would be a big marketing plus for the manufacturers. But as we all know, Faux King Brian knows what’s best for the sport. That’s why we have empty grandstands, teams closing their doors, long time sponsors leaving, merger mania, and double digit losses for the TV ratings.
Based on what’s been on Jayski, it doesn’t look like there’s any major changes coming up for next year’s schedule. So at least you know what races to attend, which ones to watch, which ones to record, and which ones to stock up on coffee and No Doze for well in advance. They need to dump some of the cookie cutter tracks and get another short track in there and another road course race for the play-offs. Maybe go to Road Atlanta or Virginia International Raceway. Pay a visit to Rockingham once again. Maybe revive North Wilkesboro. The way it is right now, the only excitement there really in the play-offs is if there‘s a good race at Martinsville and a good one at Phoenix. Since the BOW WOW came along, tracks that were exciting aren’t very exciting anymore. I’m not saying you have to have a wreck-a-thon to have a good race. It is just with the dismal failure that the Camry of Today is something needs to be done. But unless the manufacturers force the corporate identity issue with the car bodies and somebody who knows what the race fans want starts running things, we’re pretty much stuck with hamburger being passed off as filet mignon.
In my last rant, I mentioned how Mr. Gray down at Homestead said fans were free to legally express themselves. I mentioned what happened to Rick the Sign man at Charlotte a couple of years ago. Well, it seems that at Charlotte this past May, some fans were showing support for their driver using dry erase boards. Pretty smart move on their part. Easy to change their message from something like Go Team Go to Go Fight Win only related to racing. Well, it seems that one of the ladies on the Speed stage told them no more signs supporting their driver. Then a guy from Speed went into the audience of 10 people and told them that they couldn’t hold up any more signs showing support for their driver. Then a third guy came over and told them not to hold the signs up because the dry erase boards were blinding the cameraman. 3 people, 3 stories. And then came the Paul Harvey moment. These fans learned that it wasn’t Speed that didn’t want them holding up their signs to support their driver. It was NA$CAR themselves who wanted the fans off camera. So what happened to that freedom of expression that Mr. Gray was talking about? I guess it only applies to fans and the Confederate flag at Homestead.
One of the things I read after the JPM speeding incident at Indy was folks saying they should have speedometers in the cars. Well, considering they have mandated gears for the transmission and rear end and they know how big the tires and axles are and at what speeds they turn, it should be too hard to design a speedometer for the Car Of Woe. But then you get into the accuracy issue. Back in the old days, speedometers could be off up to 5 mph straight from the factory. That’s one reason why cops in a lot of places will spot drivers 5 mph. One writer suggested using chips that would allow them to tune it in for pit road speed. Not a bad idea. They already have something similar in the rev limiter chip. But you know if it could be that simple and easy and the company isn’t an official sponsor or official parts supplier that it won’t happen. So the teams are pretty much stuck with what they’ve got right now. The Tachometer. And even those can be inaccurate. So it’s a no win situation for the teams. Especially since the speeding on pit road is selectively enforced anyways by Mr. Magoo and company.
"The NASCAR rumors are true," Patrick confirmed. "We're definitely exploring all the opportunities that are out there for me as a driver and as a business and a brand." As a little boy once cried, “Wolf!”
When checking out the Royal Family, I noticed His Royal Highness has a first cousin named Amy France. Gee, that’s also the same name as His Majesty’s current spouse. Talk about the possible Freudian implications. Not to mention some of the redneck jokes we’ve all heard.
Going back to what Humpy Wheeler said about teams needing to cut back on expenses by 30-40%. Another possible scenario could be one like that of what the Wood Brothers have done. They’re not running the full schedule, which is something they did in the old days with Cale, Pearson, Turner, and other drivers. Sometimes they’d field 3 cars for a road course race with Panch, Turner, and Dan Gurney. And it seems to have improved their performance this year. Awesome Bill seems to be qualifying and running better of late. If His Highness would show some intelligence and dump the play-off format, this would allow other teams to do the same thing and might actually make for a better points race and championship. It would also allow the owners, drivers, and crews to relax a little more and take some of the
pressure off of them. But as this makes sense
and would deal a major blow to the Imperial Ego
by having to admit he was wrong about the
play-offs, you know it won’t happen. Maybe it’s
something his replacement should be
considering.
Once again, another story the networks didn’t
bother covering. It seems that a Marine advisor
team in Liberia helped to make sure those 165
desks and 319 boxes full of school supplies got
delivered to whom they were supposed to.
Liberia hasn’t been a great place the last decade
or so and education has been disrupted for a lot
of kids. So thanks to the efforts of these Marine
advisers, at least some kids in Liberia will be able to get an education. So to the Marine adviser team in Liberia, “Oo Rah!” and a big Semper Fi.
Motherhood, Apple Pie, and John Wayne
Mad Mikie, Curmudgeon at Large
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