being able to keep a straight train of thought going for more than 30 seconds. His highness also spent a lot of time saying uh, oh, umm, and urrr. According to a body language expert, these are signs of insecurity. For somebody who’s supposedly the leader of a major corporation, you’d think he’d at least attend a public speaking class and learn how to give a speech.
Other things missing from the press conference were any questions about the franchising review. That is supposed to be done this year. According to the original timetable laid down for the Codpiece of Tony, 2010 is when the engine downsizing was supposed to take place. Not a mention about that. I’m not sure where Robin Pemberton got his hair done, but when asked about a specific manufacturer for the fuel injection system, he tapped danced around that. Pemberton did say that some teams have already been testing out fuel injected systems but didn’t identify which teams or what fuel injection system they were using.
It appears that the “temporary” restrictor plate, which has been temporary now for almost 3 decades, is going to be used yet again this year although the holes will be larger than last year. They will be 63/64th’s in diameter. At last until something happens and a knee-jerk rule change is made. The yellow line rule is still in effect for Daytona and Talladega. We’ll see how that works out and if the Chosen Ones get “special dispensation”. Remember a couple years ago at Daytona when NA$CAR officials said anything goes on the last lap, including going below the yellow line, and how Smoke got his win at Talladega? Obviously, “anything goes” doesn’t apply to all the drivers. Just wait until it cost one of the Imperial Incontinence’s Chosen Ones a victory. We’ll see either a rule change or the usual non-enforcement of the rules as it applies to the Chosen Ones.
Supposedly, we’re going to be seeing more beating and banging this year. Just wait till any of the Chosen Ones gets punted by a “peasant” or “upstart”. Then we’ll see if they get black-flagged, fined, or penalized. Of course, nothing was mentioned about the play-off rules about not racing the play-off contenders and nobody in the media thought to ask.
Also missing from the transcripts are the basic storylines for this season that have been laid out by His Imperial Incompetence. Hendrick Motorsports, Johnson, Jeffy Boy, Dale Jr., Smoke, JPM, and Danica. Missing from the storylines this year will be Kasey Kahne, the new Ford engine, RPM, Yates, Roush, and just about everything else not connected to Hendrick Motorsports. So if you weren’t happy with last year’s storylines, you’ll probably be even less happy with this year’s.
Another item missing from the transcript is the big spiel about NA$CAR’s green initiatives. Planting trees (10 per race), using solar panels for power (at only one track), and recycling although His Royal Highness did talk about some green things in a vague way saying something about NA$CAR having really advanced technologies and it being a good place to test them out. Hmmm, let’s see here. The carburetor is advanced technology. Yeah, right. No rev limiters, which involve the use of advanced technology. No type of see-through materials which would allow the drivers to see out of the back and sides of the car better. No use of externally mounted mirrors. No use of 5 or 6 speed transmissions or “paddle” shifters which are becoming more widely available in street cars. Oh yeah, you’re really at the vanguard of the technology front Your Highness.
The spoiler is coming back because it has nothing to do with Newman, Edwards, or Mark Martin going airborne at Talladega because of the wing. And if you believe that I’ve got some land near Key West I’ll sell you. John Darby released specs for the spoiler and yet at the press conference we were told that they haven’t determined a height requirement. And another thing along those lines with the spoiler is why nobody thought to ask about using the same spoiler for the Cup and Busch Series in order to keep the cost of the spoiler down for the teams since it’s only going to be available from a single supplier. You can bet who the supplier will be. The same sole supplier as for the Kit Car. One of the questions about the spoiler implied it was more of a complaint from the fans that brought it back than the drivers. This sets the fans up as a patsy if the spoiler doesn’t pan out and improve the racing.
More experimentation is going to be done with the Truck Series. While they’ll have the same double file restarts as the Cup Series and are returning to the one stop pit stop, they’ll be using a new self-venting fuel can which will eliminate the need for a catch can man. I’ll be curious to see just how “optional” the crate engines for tracks less than 1.25 miles is. Remember folks, they mess up the Truck Series to test out things for the Cup and Cup Lite Series.
On the sponsorship front, His Infernal Rectaltude was proud to say that 3 new sponsors were coming to NA$CAR. He didn’t say who they were. He just said they were coming to NA$CAR. Apparently the teams will continue to poach sponsors off of one another. K&N, who use to be a team sponsor like Camping World use to be, is now a lower series sponsor of NA$CAR. So while teams continue to have a tough time finding sponsors, NA$CAR continues on with their normal snagging sponsors from teams and competing with them for sponsorship dollars.
Wayne Auton said the Truck Series count will be healthy for this season. This means that this season we’ll have a good number of start and parks just like last season. You can also take it to mean the Cup and Cup Lite Series will be the same.
Nobody addressed the cost of the Phony Ponies and how many of the regular Busch teams will not be racing them at the 4 selected races this season or how many teams will fold next season when it’s fully implemented due to the high cost of the latest Kit Car from NA$CAR.
All in all, it was just another “let me pat myself
on the back again” dog and pony show by Faux
King Brian and the Ivory Towers Gang with no
hard questions being asked by the media.
With all the problems going on with the relief
efforts in Haiti, we’re sending more troops down
to help out there. Medical facilities on the Navy
ships are filled to capacity and some injured are
even being medivac’ed out to other locations.
And yet a certain lunatic in South America says
we’re invading the country and one in LaLaLand
says Glo-bull warming caused the earthquakes
there. Our service members are doing a job
nobody else will do and my thanks to them for
doing that job.
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