A Bubba, his Black Bags and a Bobble Head.
You know you’re a Bubba when you aspire to be Bobble Head of the month.
A fan Fable by Jo ann Hlavac
As some of you know Frankie is one third of Laidback Racing. My buddy Frankie is a character. All chasin’ racin’ teams have characters on them, that is why we are always having fun. Frankie has a few quirks that combined make a great tale I’d liked to share.
One of his quirks is that he has a million black bags. Just like the Philippines had Imelda Marcus and her shoes, we have Frankie Meadows and his black bags.
Whenever we go on a race weekend, Frankie brings at least 10 to 14 black bags with him in a variety of shapes and sizes. We have the BF Goodrich black back pack, the Vision black binocular case, the Sumitomo black camera bag, The BF Goodrich black cooler, the MBNA NASCAR black duffle bag, the MBNA Indy black duffle bag, the Goodyear black overnight case and all the rest of the black bags that make up the collection.
Now another quirk of Frankie’s is that he is always putting stuff in “a good safe place”. Whenever we find that good safe place we will be able to retire. Now don’t get me wrong, Frankie is a whiz at locating tires at his shop. He amazes us with his ability.
You can ask him “Do we have any 225 65 17's?”
He will reply “go out the first back door. Walk till you get to the third light pole. Go to the third pile on the left past that light pole. Turn there and count down 4 rows of tires. Look to your right and reach up about chest high and there will be 2 there.”
However, his brain uses up all its locating skills on tires and he has none left for anything else. He says his brain is like the hard drive on your computer when it pops up the message “Free up some space on your hard drive. RAM memory is full”.
He is ALWAYS misplacing stuff. (We are not allowed to say he loses stuff because it is in that “good safe place”) Important stuff like tickets, the parking pass, credit cards, money, his cigarettes, the only cigarette lighter, keys. You name it, Frankie has misplaced it.
As his personal assistant, this makes my job extremely difficult. If I had a dollar for every time the following scenario happened I could pay for all 3 of us to go to all our races this year.
We will be on a trip and I will see Frankie frantically searching through the motor home. I ask “what have you misplaced and do I need to worry yet?”
“Well I know it’s here somewhere” he always replies whether he really knows it is or not.
Then I say “when is the last time you remember seeing it?”
He always answers “I was putting it in a black bag in a good safe place”.
And so another search will begin.
The last quirk of Frankie’s I need to tell you about is his bobble head collection. This started innocently enough. The Stingrays Hockey Team had a Dave Sietz bobble head night. It was the Saturday night of the spring Rockingham race last year. Since there was a monsoon in Rockingham on Saturday we voted to go to the hockey game, get our free bobble head, and then head up to the Rock after the game. Well, Frankie did something that day he rarely does. He drank liquor and got very drunk. On the way to the Rock, he past out. When we got to Darlington we stopped to get gas. Jimmy noticed that the store had the Osborne family bobble heads. We decided to play a joke on Frankie and take the Ozzy Bobble Head and put it in the Dave Seitz case.
The next morning Jimmy asked Frankie “What do you think of Seitzes bobble head? I don’t think it looks a thing like him.”
Frankie took one look at the bobble head and said “that’s the f@#$ing ugliest Dave Sietz bobble head I’ve ever seen.”
And so another Frankie Meadows collection had its roots. The LAIDBACK RACING Bobble Head Pit Crew now has the original Dave Sietz, Ozzy and Kelly Osbourne, 2 Santas, the Hooter’s Owl, Scooby Doo, a pink flamingo, the Michelin Man, Harvick, Rudd, Martin, Gordon, Schrader, Jarrett, George W. Bush, Awesome Bill, Bobby Labonte and a race fan. We don’t buy them by what is our favorites; we buy what’s on sale and funny.
Well, Frankie’s wife Cindy and I wanted to get Frankie something special for Christmas. I came up with the idea of a custom made bobble head. I searched the information superhighway for hours trying to find a company that made custom bobble heads in a quantity of one that wouldn’t cost us a thousand bucks. I was having no luck. I told Cindy that I thought we were going to have to find something else to give him but would try one more time. Low and behold, I was rewarded for my diligence. I found the whoopass enterprises web site.
I sent them a detailed letter of what we wanted explaining as I did above about the black bags and “the good safe place”. I conversed by phone with Jaeson Rosenfeld. I sent many photos of Frankie and his black bags. Jaeson along with his co-horts, Anthony DiMaggio, and Darby Brigham, created a masterpiece. The detail is amazing. He has on his Mark Martin Shirt. They painted the confederate flags on his socks. The green can in his hand was a joke I started as the good safe place for his keys, money, cigarettes etc. They had 10 black bags on him or around him. The ever present race stoogie is in his mouth and the ever present race beer is in his hand. It is such a masterpiece that whoop ass enterprises made it the bobble head of the month. The might as well make him Bobble Head of the year because I don’t think they could ever make another one as detailed as the Little Frankie.
Little Frankie’s made his chasin’ racin’ debut to the Rock this weekend. Frankie booted W. from the lead position on the Bobble Head Pit Crew stage and gave Little Frankie center stage. He well deserved it. He is the most detailed of all the bobble heads we have and makes us laugh whenever we look at it.
I now want to commission them to do a 3 headed bobble head of us in the Little Brown Truck! Yes, rich people commission famous artist to do their portrait and we bubbas commission artists to immortalize our likeness in a bobble head.
One of the photos I sent to Whoop Ass Enterprises: Frankie
Don't forget to tell Whoop ass that Laidback Racing sent you! Maybe Frankie will get a discount on that case of Little Frankie's he is going to order as Christmas presents.